How Is Monk Like Get Smart? Let Me Count the Ways
by Crossover Dreamer
Summary: A poem that is not as much "Elizabeth Barrett Browning" as it is "Robert Frost." Actually, it's more of a "Randy Disher project." Contains spoilers. Rated K-plus for scary situations and violence. Author's Notes and poem updated April 20, 2012


**Content: **Rated K-plus for scary situations and violence; Monk/Get Smart Crossover; Poetry/General (Non-Rhyming, Sixteen-Syllable, Irregular-Meter Quatrains and Octaves)

**Summary: **A poem that is not as much "Elizabeth Barrett Browning" as it is "Robert Frost." Actually, it's more of a "Randy Disher project." Contains spoilers. Rated K-plus for scary situations and violence.

**Author's Notes**

I have read posts online about people comparing _Monk _to Sherlock Holmes and _Columbo_, but I actually have found that _Monk _also has a lot in common with _Get Smart_. Sometimes Adrian Monk is like Maxwell Smart; Sharona Fleming, Natalie Teeger, and Trudy Monk like Agent 99; Capt. Leland Stottlemeyer like the Chief of Control; and Lt. Randy Disher, Gail Fleming (played by Amy Sedaris), and Chet Walsh (played by Steve Monroe) like Agent Larabee. But there's a bit more to it than that.

I've noticed a pattern with certain TV shows where pairs of characters have a lot in common with each other and with other pairs of characters who have a lot in common. In _Get Smart's _case, the synchronous twosome is Max and Larabee. Technically, Monk and Disher aren't _the _synchronous twosome of _Monk_. But _Monk _does use a recurring theme of synchronicity: sisters Sharona and Gail Fleming; brothers Adrian and Ambrose Monk; Adrian Monk and Harold Krenshaw, who were both patients of Dr. Kroger and later Dr. Bell; Mega-Mart employees Morris and Ronnie; and Kevin Dorfman and his relatives.

This poem contains the parallels that stood out to me the most.

_In Memory of Edward Platt, Robert Karvelas, Don Adams, and Stanley Kamel_

**How Is Monk Like Get Smart? Let Me Count the Ways**

**1** It didn't start out easy for Adrian Monk and Maxwell Smart.  
>The Captain wouldn't listen to Monk; Smart gave the Chief big headaches.<br>Disher took Leland's side, Hodgkins and Larabee in the background.  
>Two women were paid very little—Monk's money, Smart's attention.<p>

**2** I shall begin with the daft, "Mr. Monk Goes to the Asylum,"  
>When Manny thought that Santa was coming soon. "It's August," Jane said.<br>I shall compare it to the complicated "A Tale of Two Tails,"  
>Where there was a Santa Claus in August—desperate Maxwell Smart.<p>

**3** Then there is the unlikely "Mr. Monk and the Billionaire Mugger."  
>After Monk broke his lamp, he bought three more; two of them are backups.<br>I shall compare it to the secret "One Nation Invisible,"  
>When Max knocked over lamps—twice invisible and once visible.<p>

**4** Things get interesting with "Mr. Monk and the Other Woman."  
>When Mr. Monk met Monica Water, suspected murderer,<br>He started to find her attractive because she was like Trudy.  
>When Monk was convinced that she did it, he thought she poisoned his food.<br>I shall compare it to the fatal "And Only Two Ninety-Nine,"  
>When Maxwell Smart was thinking that Ninety-Nine was not Ninety-Nine.<br>"She would never prepare a big breakfast for me," he told the Chief.  
>The real Ninety-Nine learned that the fake Ninety-Nine poisoned Max's food.<p>

**5** I shall continue with the clean "Mr. Monk Takes a Vacation,"  
>When Benjy told her mother and Mr. Monk he saw a murder.<br>Sharona thought that he was imagining things, but Monk didn't.  
>Benjy saw the body again, but it disappeared again.<br>I shall compare it to the ludicrous "The Day Smart Turned Chicken,"  
>When Max kept seeing the same cowboy dying over and over.<br>And I shall compare it to "Snoopy Smart vs. the Red Baron,"  
>When the Chief found it hard to believe that Max saw the Red Baron.<p>

**6** I shall continue with the shaky "Mr. Monk and the Earthquake,"  
>About a woman who, using a bust, made herself a widow.<br>I shall compare it to the ironic "Widow Often Annie,"  
>Disher and Larabee were more recognizable than they thought.<p>

**7** I shall continue with the vexing "Mr. Monk and the Airplane,"  
>When Monk was trapped in the airplane's bathroom, and Sharona saved him.<br>I shall compare it to the mysterious "Closely Watched Planes,"  
>When Max was trapped in the airplane's bathroom, and Ninety-Nine saved him.<p>

**8** I shall continue with the headstrong "Mr. Monk Goes Back to School,"  
>When Mr. Monk took a long time writing his name on the chalkboard.<br>I shall compare it to the complicated "A Tale of Two Tails,"  
>When Maxwell Smart wrote his name on the chalkboard with invisible chalk.<p>

**9** I shall continue with "Mr. Monk Goes to the Theater,"  
>When actress Gail Fleming was accused of murdering Hal Duncan.<br>In the modified and unusual "The Day They Raided Knights,"  
>Like Gail, Larabee also had experience acting on stage.<br>Now I shall compare "Theater" to "What's It All About, Algie?"  
>Both Larabee and Monk were skeptical about somebody's age.<br>And now I shall compare "Theater" to "Hurray for Hollywood."  
>Both Maxwell Smart and Adrian Monk pretended to be actors.<p>

**10** I shall continue with "Mr. Monk and the Missing Granny"  
>By comparing it to the undignified and urgent "Satan Place."<br>Both Julie's nana and the Chief were kidnapped by two people.  
>Julie hesitated with the phone call, and so did Hodgkins.<br>Monk was told to come alone, and Max decided to go alone.  
>Charges have been pressed against the leader of the Lightning Brigade<br>I shall also compare "Missing Granny" to "The Day They Raided Knights."  
>The Chief of Control, Larabee, and Disher were disguised as women.<p>

**11** I shall continue with the lame "Mr. Monk and the Captain's Wife,"  
>When Disher had some theories about why the perp left bare footprints.<br>I shall compare it to the agonizing and routine "Greer Window."  
>Disher had illogical theories like Gail and Larabee.<p>

**12** I shall continue with the deceptive "Mr. Monk Gets Married."  
>A ring got stuck on Sharona's finger; soap was used to get it off.<br>I shall compare it to the sticky "Diamonds Are a Spy's Best Friend."  
>A ring got stuck on Max's finger; soap was used to get it off.<p>

**13** I shall continue with the mixed-up "Mr. Monk Takes Manhattan,"  
>When the Latvian ambassador was wearing someone else's coat.<br>I shall compare it to the likewise mixed-up "And Baby Makes Four"  
>When Maxwell Smart and Simon the Likable had each other's coats.<p>

**14** I shall continue with "Mr. Monk and the Girl Who Cried Wolf,"  
>When Sharona saw, in the garage, a dead man wearing cowboy boots.<br>But when the police investigated, they didn't believe her.  
>She saw the body in a bathroom. Once again, no one believed her.<br>Stottlemeyer suggested that Sharona take some time off.  
>But Varla wasn't nearly as understanding a nurse as Sharona.<br>This situation is also like "The Day Smart Turned Chicken"  
>And the hard-to-believe "Snoopy Smart vs. the Red Baron."<p>

**15** I shall continue with the prized "Mr. Monk vs. the Cobra,"  
>When Disher was thrilled about the idea of Sonny Chow killing him.<br>I shall compare it to the modified "The Day They Raided Knights,"  
>When Larabee thought that KAOS agents recognizing him was good.<p>

**16** I shall continue with the scary "Mr. Monk Goes Home Again"  
>When Ambrose Monk ate a Neptune bar and was rushed to the hospital.<br>I shall compare it to the fatal "And Only Two Ninety-Nine,"  
>When Larabee ate the pie that was intended for Maxwell Smart.<p>

**17** I shall continue with the intoxicating "Mr. Monk Gets Drunk,"  
>When nobody remembered there being a guest named Larry Zwibell.<br>This situation is also like "The Day Smart Turned Chicken"  
>And the hard-to-believe "Snoopy Smart vs. the Red Baron."<p>

**18** I shall continue with the doubtful "Mr. Monk and Mrs. Monk,"  
>When Natalie saw someone who looked like Trudy enter the diner,<br>And Monk was worried that Trudy was alive and a murderer.  
>Disher was not in a hurry to go to the storage shed.<br>I shall compare it to the fatal "And Only Two Ninety-Nine,"  
>When Ninety-Nine saw someone who looked like her outside her apartment,<br>And Max was not sure which Ninety-Nine was the real Ninety-Nine.  
>Larabee was not in a hurry to go to Melnick's Furniture.<p>

**19** I shall continue with "Mr. Monk and the Secret Santa,"  
>When Adrian Monk was forced to go undercover as Santa Claus.<br>I shall compare it to the complicated "A Tale of Two Tails,"  
>When Maxwell Smart was forced to go undercover as Santa Claus.<p>

**20** I shall continue with "Mr. Monk and the Captain's Marriage,"  
>When Disher told Stottlemeyer to put the yo-yo away.<br>I shall compare it to the agonizing and routine "Greer Window,"  
>When the Chief told Larabee to forget about the yo-yo.<p>

**21** I shall continue with the sore "Mr. Monk Goes to the Dentist,"  
>When Disher told Stottlemeyer that Doctor Bloom killed Denny Jardeen.<br>However, the Captain did not believe Disher, so Disher quit.  
>Disher decided to revive his high school rock band and write songs.<br>This situation is also like "The Day Smart Turned Chicken"  
>And the hard-to-believe "Snoopy Smart vs. the Red Baron."<br>I shall also compare "Dentist" to "And Only Two Ninety-Nine."  
>The Chief and the Captain both found two men strange and annoying.<p>

**22** I shall continue with the dull "Mr. Monk Gets Jury Duty,"  
>When Adrian Monk spelled his name saying "capital" and "small" and "space."<br>I shall compare it to the risky and foreboding "The Decoy"  
>When Maxwell Smart spelled his last name saying "capital" and "small"—no "space."<p>

**23** I shall continue with "Mr. Monk and the Class Reunion,"  
>When Monk remembered information that was written on his back.<br>I shall compare it to the blundering and suspicious "School Days,"  
>When Max asked a student to write something to know if it's really him.<p>

**24** I shall continue with the sneaky "Mr. Monk Is at Your Service,"  
>When Stilson brought Buchanan a drink, but then Buchanan shot him.<br>I shall compare it to the unhelpful "How Green Was My Valet,"  
>When the Bulmanian ambassador poisoned his valet's drink.<p>

**25** I shall continue with the busy "Mr. Monk Visits a Farm,"  
>When Disher resigned from the police force and became a farmer.<br>I shall compare it to the elongated "The Little Black Book."  
>Max and Disher raided the wrong places—there were address mix-ups.<br>I shall also compare "Farm" to the fake "Widow Often Annie,"  
>Because both Larabee and Disher forgot something important.<br>And I shall also compare it to "What's It All About, Algie?"  
>Undercover, Max worked at a nursery, and Monk worked on a farm.<p>

**26** I shall continue with the tiring "Mr. Monk Stays Up All Night,"  
>When Monk told Captain Stottlemeyer that he saw a man kill a cop.<br>But there was no body, so the Captain didn't believe him.  
>Then Monk spots the undercover cop; this time the cop is alive!<br>But the man whom Monk thought he saw shot, William Lee, was not a cop.  
>Then Monk witnesses William Lee getting shot another time.<br>This situation is also like "The Day Smart Turned Chicken"  
>And the hard-to-believe "Snoopy Smart vs. the Red Baron."<p>

**27** I shall continue with the daring "Mr. Monk Goes to the Bank,"  
>When Disher told the living statue to rescue him and three others.<br>I shall compare it to the conspicuous "Do I Hear a Vaults?"  
>When Larabee stopped a robbery, and he and the Chief were trapped.<p>

**28** I shall continue with the nasty and selfish "Mr. Monk on Wheels,"  
>When Monk got shot in the left leg, and blamed everything on Natalie.<br>Monk bossed Natalie around, making her run so many errands.  
>Then Monk got shot in the other leg; he did want his legs to match.<br>I shall compare it to the agonizing and routine "Greer Window,"  
>When Max got shot and had to stay in his apartment and use crutches.<br>Ninety-Nine was very helpful to Max, bringing him magazines.  
>Max was healing, but when he wanted to watch TV, he shot himself.<p>

**29** I shall continue with the rowdy "Mr. Monk Makes the Playoffs,"  
>When Adrian Monk couldn't stop thinking about Condors fan Chet Walsh.<br>I shall compare it to the booming "Witness for the Execution."  
>Both Chet and Larabee were close to dying from explosions.<br>I shall also compare "Playoffs" to the shattering "Ironhand."  
>Chet had a foam finger bandage; Larabee's bowling ball was too small.<br>And I shall compare "Playoffs" to "I Am Curiously Yellow."  
>Monk and Chet got to use a special key; Larabee wanted a key.<p>

**30** I shall continue with the bizarre "Mr. Monk is the Best Man,"  
>When Stottlemeyer quickly realized that his car was on fire.<br>And I shall compare it to the enigmatic "The Worst Best Man,"  
>When the Control agents heard that Hymie had a bomb, so they fled.<p>

**31** So how many ways is Adrian Monk like Maxwell Smart? Let's see...  
>One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve...<br>"Come on, Randy. Will you please put down the guitar and shut up?"  
>Sharona is telling me to put down the guitar and shut up.<p> 


End file.
